Shoshy Cadoodle

Shoshy Cadoodle is an illustrator & artist. Here you'll find her work plus other interesting bits & bobs.

Lesbian Wedding Planning: 3 Reasons To Have Separate Hen dos/Bachelorette Parties

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Lesbian Wedding Planning: 3 Reasons To Have Separate Hen dos/Bachelorette Parties

So as many of you know, Meredith and I got married last year. It was the best day ever and yet we continue to have amazing days together and are filled to the brim with excitement about our future.

Wedding planning can be overwhelming at times for anyone and there are lots of blogs out there to help. I absolutely love wedding blogs myself and especially loved them when we were planning our wedding. I’m a sucker for pretty things and romance… However, there aren’t too many lesbian, gay or LGBT wedding blogs around, so I thought I’d start a new series, still within the Shoshy Cadoodle blog. I hope this series can help others but I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn from you too. So, please always feel free to chime in, down in the comments section.

To start with, I’m going to dive right in and hit you with 3 reasons why you should have a seperate hen do (or bachelorette party) from your bride-to-be. It seems to be a bit of a lesbian trend to have joint bachelorettes / hens. While I’m all for creating new traditions and going against heteronormativity, I think there may be something to be said for two lesbian hen dos, one each!

3 Reasons For a Lesbian Couple To Have Separate Hen dos/Bachelorette Parties:

  1. You’re both two separate, individual people.
    Yes, it is tempting to want to do everything together… after all, you adore spending time with your fiancée – that’s one of the many reasons you’re marrying her! However, it is healthy not only for yourselves, but for your relationship, to maintain your separate personal identities. You are each beautiful in your uniqueness – hold on to that, cherish it and nurture it with some independence every now and again. What better time to celebrate your individuality then on your hen do / bachelorette?

    I was lucky enough to have a surprise 1920s themed hen night out as a part of an incredible hen weekend. My girls also surprised me by taking me out for a gorgeous afternoon tea the next day. What lovely and kind friends and family I have!

  2. You have different friends.
    Old friends, new friends, maybe family members you consider friends too… While you’re bound to have a good handful of mutual friends between you; your individual friendships are very important too. Hen parties and bachelorettes are wonderful times for your different circles of friends to come together and get to know each other better. Granted – it is fantastic to be friends with your fiancée’s friends. However, just because you’re in a lesbian relationship, doesn’t mean you have to have one big giant united bachelorette party! There’s something tremendously special about hen partying individually amongst your very closest and oldest friends… it’s that all about feeling the amazingly strong bonds you’ve created over the years, and celebrating you and the huge life step and journey you are about to take.

    My wife, Meredith, has a wonderful personality, set of talents and friends that adore her. We're both creative, but we're both different and I love that about us!

    My wife, Meredith. She has a wonderfully bright and bubbly personality; her own personal set of talents, (including her amazing ability to make people giggle) and friends that adore her. We’re both creative, but we’re also both very different and I love that about us. Her bachelorette was a super relaxed, fun night out with her favourite food and some very silly costumes!

  3. You’re about to start a life together.
    While you’ll still do things separately at times in the future, marriage really turns you into one little super team. Why not take this chance you have to celebrate that in your own separate ways? Aren’t you interested to hear what kind bachelorette party she had? And aren’t you excited to be able to create your own memory with a unique-to-you hen do?

    Having a separate hen do doesn't mean you won't share tweny million billion gazillion smiles with your wifey before and after the wedding!

    Having separate hen dos doesn’t mean you won’t share twenty million, billion, gazillion smiles with your wifey before and after (and of course during) the wedding!

    Leave me a comment below and let me know what you think of these 3 reasons, whether you agree or disagree. Maybe you’re planning a joint hen do right now… I’d love to hear the flip-side to all this, whether you’re lesbian, gay, bi or straight; don’t be shy!

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Author: Shoshy Cadoodle®

Shoshy Cadoodle® is London based illustrator, Shoshana Bratton, or Shoshy for short! She makes stationery, bespoke or ready to order and offers a personal and friendly service.

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